An Ode to MacGyver
There I stood, weak and weary, my smile askew, though slightly cheery,
Carefully avoiding all the customers there in the store,
In front of me, it sat their waiting, the challenge very much sedating,
as the scale sat in parts spread across the storeroom floor.
“What the fuck are all these parts sitting on the storeroom [...] Read more »
In an effort to expand “brand recognition”, Google has announced that it’s going to enter the food industry so it can be a part of this complete breakfast as well as this complete internet. Google Cereal, which should be hitting shelves at a supermarket near you sometime next year, has already planned a major advertising [...] Read more »
It’s come to my attention that we have a grave problem in America today: Zombie Weddings. You see, despite the fact that being a zombie is a mortal sin, people continue to be zombies without ever considering what sort of effect this might have on our children. San Francisco has become a haven for zombies [...] Read more »
The first Auschwitz Winery label.
In 1942, as part of the labor camp movement, Auschwitz was endowed with a slave-labor run winery that produced one of the best Nazi vintages known. In addition to a wonderful Aryan Blanc that made their name, Auschwitz Wineries also produced a solid assortment of Chiantis, Rieslings, Ports, and a [...] Read more »
As today marks the first day of Christmas (the twelve days really do cum after), I figured I’d commemorate this year with my own special XXXmas tribute (with some help and inspiration from ):
On the first day of XXXmas,
Ron Jeremy sent to me
A bottle of KY Jelly
On the second day of XXXmas,
Ron Jeremy sent to [...] Read more »
Why is it that people can’t help but discriminate against us Jews during the holiday season?
I went to The Sink for lunch the other day with a couple of friends. Besides getting some of the worst service I’ve ever received, on my way out I was greeted by one of the rudest, most ethnically insensitive [...] Read more »
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it [...] Read more »
More and more, I’m finding that my creative juices are better used when other people inspire me. For instance, I just adapted Joan Osborne’s One of Us to be about cell phones in a thread about a nun on a cell phone in the <a href=”http://metaquotes.livejournal.com/”>metaquotes</a> community.
Phones For All of Us
(Sung to the tune of [...] Read more »
Well, based on Sarah’s thread, I decided to do a little creative editing and turn Ben Fold’s Five’s “Song for the Dumped” into a Brilliant diatribe by Peter Pan. Of course, since I hadn’t read Peter Pan since 5th grade, I needed to brush up on my Peter Panology, so I struck out on Google [...] Read more »