Worldwide Ace

Men are dogs.
I don’t mean to say that men are conniving, lying cheaters who are destined to turn on their girlfriend, wife or lover. I mean that we’re trained animals. Read more »

WARNING: This is a long one…
I thought I had left it all behind when I graduated from college. Anyone who has been there know what I’m talking about: the parties; the drinking; the beer bongs; the drunkenness; the stupidity. I’m sure some people remember it fondly. Perhaps it was even the best part of college. [...] Read more »

One thing I love about Boulder is that it’s prime ogling territory. In Boulder, the ratio of beautiful and healthy people is incredible. If I’m not getting my facts wrong, Boulder remains the skinniest city in the skinniest county in the skinniest state in the country. And while often that means the women wandering around [...] Read more »

“Do you care what she thinks?” I asked him. All night, Nick had been wandering around the bar, making sure to pass this girl and not look at her.
“Of course I do,” he told me, the annoyance clear on his face. “I want her to like me; to think I’m cool. I mean, look at [...] Read more »

Last week, as I played ScrabbleTM against a far superior opponent, she apologized to me. “I’m sorry I didn’t play down to your level,” she said. Needless to say, I was stunned. It didn’t bother me that I was getting trounced nor that I was obviously outmatched. What bothered me was that in previous games, [...] Read more »

I’ve always found it interesting what is and isn’t appropriate to talk about in certain company. I don’t talk politics with my extended family since they’re all republicans and I’m a staunch liberal. When I made a joke about Jesus being gay at a party thrown by a devout Christian friend, he stopped talking to [...] Read more »

Though she had obviously been beautiful once, her collagen infused lips tilted cruelly as she stared down her nose at me.
“Is there anything I can help you find?” I asked, wincing at her icy glare. She didn’t respond, choosing instead to snort, flip her fur stole over her shoulder and turn away as I weren’t [...] Read more »

There’s something immensely wrong with society when it comes to love, sex and relationships. For years people told me that when I was older everything would come easier, but it seems like just the opposite.
Before I lost my virginity, there was always the understanding that it would happen and it would be fine. Sex would [...] Read more »

Image by Richard Marchand
With the Amish School Shooting atop all the headlines, Stormy felt compelled to talk with me. Honestly, neither of us feel very connected to the event–we don’t know anyone involved, nor do we know anyone near the area involved–but like any tragic and illogical event, we both feel very disturbed.
“It really bugs [...] Read more »

One of the classes I’m taking this semester is a class on Modern/Postmodern theory and origin. The class consists of 9 or 10 highly intelligent students and a professor that makes me feel like Neanderthal man. The topics are extremely dense and difficult and it’s a challenge and a chore just to keep up. Still, [...] Read more »

I got lost the other day. I pulled up and found the address I was looking for wasn’t there. I knew the fault wasn’t mine, but Google Maps, which had sent me to the wrong street by the right name.
The neighborhood was quiet and idyllic. Green grasses gently blew in the breeze in front of [...] Read more »

I lack the tight pants; they make my hips look boxy and hurt my nuts.
I lack the nifty slogan splayed across my tight dingy T-shirt; they’re so often trite anyway.
I lack the ear spools and facial piercings; I thought about getting my tongue pierced, but I was afraid I’d lose the ability to taste life.
I [...] Read more »

Terri Schiavo died today. Again. It’s odd. The first time she died, it was from bulemia. This time, it was because of forced anorexia.
Here’s the obituary I read on the air for her:
The wait is over. After nearly two weeks without her feeding tube, Terri Schiavo died this morning. Schiavo had been in a persistent [...] Read more »

Yessir, it seems about that time again. Time to offend the masses with conversation that no one really wants to have and that probably shouldn’t be repeated. Yes, today’s topic is circumcision. That’s right, the act of removing the foreskin from the penis.

[ed. - Why do you talk about penises so much? Is there something [...] Read more »

So the other day, aquajubbly asked me if I had ever kissed a friend on the lips. I answered honestly and said I had.
aquajubbly: girls, I’m assuming
aquajubbly: see, I think that’s kinda weird
nbassist: one guy
nbassist: but he was European
aquajubbly: I definitely can’t see you doing that
aquajubbly: on the lips? Not talking about the cheek kind
nbassist: [...] Read more »

I’ve spent the last two days in a counter cultural mecca of freaks and geeks. And it was glorious. As part of my regular abuse of my press privileges, I snagged press passes to Nan Desu Kan for myself, Jeff (who does the Acid Lounge on Radio 1190), and Steph (who does the weekend morning [...] Read more »

This morning, my first day of semi-health back, I biked to the bus stop and caught the bus to campus. While waiting for the bus, a young mother and her child arrived at the stop as well. When the bus pulled up, I carried the stroller (pram for you Brits) up onto the bus for [...] Read more »

Gender Bending
What ever happened to the old fashioned date? You know what I mean. The man buys her flowers, takes her out on the town, pays for everything, and comes away happy with a kiss on the cheek. It just doesn’t happen. Now we have group dating, speed dating (2 minutes, couples), internet dating,  informal [...] Read more »

Today was unbelievably gorgeous. It meant the women were out in force, simply a pure joy to watch. But something really got on my nerves. I saw ten or twelve women, every time I went outside, holding their skirt down. The point of wearing a short skirt is to show off. I know that. You [...] Read more »

I don’t really understand why guys would take the panties of someone they slept with… or someone they haven’t slept with, for that matter. I’m sure you’ve all heard about it; someone comes back to the laundry room in their complex/dorm/house and finds that one or more pairs of their nice pink, silk panties is [...] Read more »