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Worldwide Ace » Diary of a Mad Disease

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Diary of a Mad Disease

29 January, 2006 (23:56) | Creativity

Just moments ago, while blowing my nose, I came across an incredible discovery. Apparently, the virus attacking my immune system over the last week was keeping a diary of event. There amongst the snot and mucous I found the microscopically bound book, and utilizing a magnifying glass, I have transcribed it here for all to see.

Thursday, January 26, 2006 – 19:53 – We’ve arrived in a strange new realm. I’m not sure how to adequately characterize this haven but it would do me well to enumerate the wealth of resources we’ve discovered in only the few short hours we’ve explored. Already, First Mate S. Coccus has laid a base camp in the narrows north of here. We’ve begun spelunking to the South, but tremors are making us take great care with our exploration. Should everything take seed in the way we foresaw, this new territory will be colonized and under our control within the week. Hopefully, virility will keep this paradise welcoming for generations to come.

Friday, January 27, 2006 – 10:14 – Mr. S. Coccus and his team have laid the initial passageway into the depths below. Already, several of the crew have been mining the precious resources above. They’ve redirected a small stream through the narrows that will keep the men well lubricated. Additionally, the stream has begun to forge a passage in the tunnels below. We already feel the occasional rumble and have been privy to gale force winds. Still, the men are holding up well.

Earlier today, Mr. S. Coccus encountered the first natives of this new world. We initially though it friendly, but it cannibalized a few Mr. S. Coccus’s crew. So disturbing was this image, that several of the men lost heart and turned tail. It’s unlikely they survived in the wilds alone and only the Good Lord knows their fate. The remaining men stood strong and forced the native back. We occasionally see one of these natives waiting on the outskirts of our camp, but they’ve yet to breach our defensive ring. I pray we shall overcome these setbacks and am hopeful that our God-given mission will continue.

Friday, January 27, 2006 – 21:32 – The natives didn’t wait long to attack. Our entire camp in the narrows has been ravaged. We are but a small crew. Mr. S. Coccus was captured and we’ve watched from afar as the natives have slowly tortured them. They were utilizing weaponry we were unaware they possessed, things we’ve only seen in the old world and previous ports of departure. I have promoted Mr. R. Virus to First Mate, though he cannot possibly be as strong a leader as Mr. S. Coccus was.

We’ve retreated to the upper turbinates. I can only hope that we fend off defeat and claim this land as ours.

Saturday, January 28, 2006 – 18:17 – We’ve survived an ceaseless offensive by the natives. Thankfully, we seem finally to be able to entrench ourselves fully in these upper reaches. If we can hold off for another day or two, the men will be healed enough to attempt an offensive and perhaps retake the narrows. For now, we remain wary and weak. It is only through vigilance can we survive this horrid turn of events.

Sunday, January 29, 2006 – 9:48 – Mr. R. Virus has done something astonishing. In the wee hours of the morn, he and his crew have split the stream and found the spring it stems from. He widened the spout and has turned it into a raging torrent of liquid. Many of the natives have been pushed back and it appears we may have won the day! In high spirits, there will be a celebration later, as it is the first moments of respite we’ve had.

Sunday, January 29, 2006 – 21:38 – Hope is lost. During our celebration, the natives found a way to stem the stream and break our ranks. Mr. R. Virus is now under their control and looks only to live through the morrow. A few of the men have escaped and seek to use guerrilla tactics to remain a presence, but I cannot foresee any of our troops living beyond the week. Tis such a sad turn of events. Even now, I remain hidden, hoping–nay, praying that reinforcements might arrive.

This looks to be my final entry. Please, if you find this journal, tell my wife and children I loved them very much. Someday, this wilderness may be tamed, but for now, I must be content to have tried valiantly and failed.

I almost feel sorry for the bastards.

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  • Very nice . . . I guess that’s how all the journals go. Little bastards.

  • Very nice . . . I guess that’s how all the journals go. Little bastards.

  • Sometimes, the virus wins, in which case it may have an extended stay, invite other raiding parties such as the villified P. Monia and Mr. E. Bola. Sometimes, they strip mine the land leaving it barren and lifeless, but thankfully modern medicine has made that a rare occurance.

  • Sometimes, the virus wins, in which case it may have an extended stay, invite other raiding parties such as the villified P. Monia and Mr. E. Bola. Sometimes, they strip mine the land leaving it barren and lifeless, but thankfully modern medicine has made that a rare occurance.

  • hahaha.. that was hilarious. Thanks for donating your misery.

  • hahaha.. that was hilarious. Thanks for donating your misery.