The Errors of Honesty
“Don’t discuss yourself, for you are bound to lose; if you belittle yourself, you are believed; if you praise yourself, you are disbelieved.”-Michel de Montaigne
One of the reasons I try to be honest is because of how well I feel I hide myself. Not necessarily with friends I know, but there has yet to be a situation or crowd where I can’t find a way to make myself welcome. Of course, I didn’t attend the Million Man March, so you never know. Either way, I know I take on different personas and adjust my personality depending on who I’m with.
With some of my recent posts, people have told me I’m brave to put myself out there. I don’t think it’s bravery. I think it’s a lack of shame. Regardless, I know several people have expressed distrust and distaste of my entries, their origins, and the meanings of them. I have others who have encouraged me to make my entries private. I’m not going to delete entries or hide entries for my own good.
Honestly, I could care less. I don’t care what people think; whether they react positively or negatively; whether they find my discussions interesting or disturbing; whether they grow as people or shrivel and his in their shells. We’ve entered an age where people are expected to follow “the rules” and live within the box. Fuck that. Fuck the box. I will write anything and everything I want to and I refuse to be proud, ashamed, or in any way let my writing affect who I am. Perhaps for the first time, I’m writing something with an audience in mind:
Audience, if you don’t like what I say, don’t read it. I’m not doing this for you.
It’s true that whether or not I want to be, you will judge me for what I put up here. I have been asked to remove things in the past and I have. I’m not here to disturb, anger, entertain, or educate you. I’m not here to give you a story or provide you with creative inspiration. I’m not doing this for you.
I encourage you to be honest with yourselves. Use what I write if you want to, but don’t blame me if you don’t like it or if it doesn’t sit well with you. I’m not doing this for you.
If you’re unsure of something I say, ask. If you disagree, tell me. If I say something about you that you don’t want on the net, tell me and I’ll make sure your identity is hidden. If you think there’s a random psychological theory that may help me, feel free to offer it up. Quote me. Ridicule me. Complain about me. Show my musings to the world. I don’t care. I’m not doing this for you.