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Halloween Hijinks

1 November, 2005 (15:29) | Creativity

About two weeks ago, I made these awesome pot brownies. For those of you who know me well, you know pot brownies are one of my all time favorites. They were so good, I decided to make them again a few days ago.

Both my roommates were gone; Little Bear was with Smurfette and her parents and Ironman had driven home with his new diaper dandy. I went through and created another fabulous batch. Of course, the thing about pot brownies is that you can’t eat them all at once. Well, you probably can, but it’s a BAD idea. Moderation, my friends. Moderation. Anyway, I packed the rest up into Tupperware containers.

Well, last night, I come home around 8:30 or so and find they’re all gone! Now, Little Bear doesn’t like the brownies because they’re too strong for him. Smurfette won’t touch them because she works with addiction theory and medicine. Ironman won’t because he wants to be in the FBI. So I was at a complete loss for what had happened.

About ten minutes after my discovery, Ironman comes downstairs. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“Not bad. We had a big candy rush earlier, but it’s over now.”

“That’s cool. Do you know what happened to the brownies in the fridge?”

“Yeah. When we ran out of candy, I gave them out.” I nearly feinted with shock. Ironman had given out nearly $100 worth of pot brownies to kids.

Let me say this again for emphasis: KIDS, AGES 4-15 ARE WANDERING AROUND WITH POT BROWNIES! Well, won’t they have a happy Halloween…

“You know those were pot brownies, right?” I asked.

“WHAT!?!?! BUT YOU FINISHED THOSE OFF! I THOUGHT THEY WERE A REGULAR BATCH!” At this point, Ironman starts freaking out about contributing to the delinquency of a minor (which is ironic because he’s dating a 19 year old and giving her alcohol).

So far, the cops haven’t come knocking at the door, but I’m freaking out that they will.

Death at a Desk

They could tell he was nervous when he walked into the room. Sweat poured down his face and his hands shook as he took the exam from his professors. They didn’t think much of it. They had seen it before.

Papers rustled and pens scratched as the test went on, each moment draining every last drop of strength and composure from the class. Professor Logan smiled at Professor Preston. This was what psychology exams were about; cracking the students.

Slowly, the students filed out, each dropping the test and scurrying out of the room like mice. At last only one was left; the nervous one. His pencil firmly grasped in one hand, he leaned on his left hand for support, staring intently at the exam. The clocked ticked down the final seconds of the period.

“Time’s up. Pencils down,” announced Professor Logan. The nervous man didn’t move.

“Ted, give him another five minutes. He’s a little old for the class, but he’s always worked hard in class.”

“The instructions clearly stated that unless he has a learning disability, we give him the same time as everyone else,” responded Logan. “I said pencils down.” The two professors approached the man. “Pencils down, sir!” The man didn’t move. Professor Logan snatched at the pencil, attempting to yank it out of his hand. It slipped through the professor’s fingers, firmly gripped by the white knuckled man.

“Come on, Ted. Let him be.”

“He hasn’t even argued back yet.” Logan leaned down and gently pushed the man. He fell over. Logan slowly stood up. “He’s dead, Bill.”

Professor Preston smiled widely. “That’s why he wouldn’t let go of his pencil.”

A shocked look passed over Logan’s face. “What?”

“You know. Writer mortis!”

Link of the Day

If you all are disillusioned with the system, I recommend considering becoming Republican!!! There’s no better you except a Republican you!

P.S. – Just in case you were wondering, the pot brownie story is completely false. NOVEMBER FOOLS!

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  • christ! i hope you guys don’t end up in jail.

    …. lucky kids…. i guess…. i wouldn’t want to be drugged without my consent… argh.

    no good.

  • i just read the disclaimer, you’re a bastard

  • christ! i hope you guys don’t end up in jail.

    …. lucky kids…. i guess…. i wouldn’t want to be drugged without my consent… argh.

    no good.

  • i just read the disclaimer, you’re a bastard

  • HAHAHAHA! FOOLED YOU!

  • HAHAHAHA! FOOLED YOU!

  • anonymous

    that was an entertaining blurb. and i fully support celebrating november fools as well
    denise http://lenkapichenka.blogspot.com

  • anonymous

    that was an entertaining blurb. and i fully support celebrating november fools as well
    denise http://lenkapichenka.blogspot.com

  • I’ve added you to my friend’s list. I came here via and find your LJ interesting. Anyway, if being friended by a stranger offends or bothers you in any way let me know and I will remove you in a trice.

  • I’ve added you to my friend’s list. I came here via and find your LJ interesting. Anyway, if being friended by a stranger offends or bothers you in any way let me know and I will remove you in a trice.

  • Welcome to Bassist Airlines. We hope you enjoy your flight. In case of emergency, emergency exits are located here, here, here and here. Please ask your flight attendant for assistance as all have been welded shut due to previous failure. A meal will be provided on this flight. We expect you all to share it. Thank you.

  • Welcome to Bassist Airlines. We hope you enjoy your flight. In case of emergency, emergency exits are located here, here, here and here. Please ask your flight attendant for assistance as all have been welded shut due to previous failure. A meal will be provided on this flight. We expect you all to share it. Thank you.

  • Blogspot has much better provisions for non-user comments.

  • Blogspot has much better provisions for non-user comments.

  • Hey waitaminnit … I was told there was little packets of peanuts! I want my damn peanuts!

  • Hey waitaminnit … I was told there was little packets of peanuts! I want my damn peanuts!

  • What you heard is that many passngers leave with pee nuts. Our bathrooms are so small that if you don’t piss on yourself, we’ll give you a free flight!

  • What you heard is that many passngers leave with pee nuts. Our bathrooms are so small that if you don’t piss on yourself, we’ll give you a free flight!

  • I see the disclaimer applied to the brownie story, not the Psych exam one.

  • I see the disclaimer applied to the brownie story, not the Psych exam one.

  • Wow, you so had me.

  • Wow, you so had me.

  • That would have been so funny though! I laughed my ass off. And no, I don’t do the LMAF thing. Except for now to say that I don’t do it. er, yeah.

  • That would have been so funny though! I laughed my ass off. And no, I don’t do the LMAF thing. Except for now to say that I don’t do it. er, yeah.

  • Yes. But the Psych exam one is just fiction.

  • Yes. But the Psych exam one is just fiction.

  • I don’t know what LMAF would stand for anyway 😉

    The pot brownie story was HILARIOUS and still just as funny even though it’s not true.

    The link was also great. I’m glad sound wasn’t necessary, as I don’t have that luxury at work.

  • I don’t know what LMAF would stand for anyway 😉

    The pot brownie story was HILARIOUS and still just as funny even though it’s not true.

    The link was also great. I’m glad sound wasn’t necessary, as I don’t have that luxury at work.

  • i decided to tell your story to my coworkers, as if it were true….

    they bought it.

    deception is so much fun.

  • i decided to tell your story to my coworkers, as if it were true….

    they bought it.

    deception is so much fun.

  • Dude, you suck! I was just talking to my roomate and telling him that one of my friends accidentally gave out pot brownies to kids on Halloween. We had a good laugh, all was well . . .then I saw the note at the bottom 🙁

  • Dude, you suck! I was just talking to my roomate and telling him that one of my friends accidentally gave out pot brownies to kids on Halloween. We had a good laugh, all was well . . .then I saw the note at the bottom 🙁

  • Heh. My plan to bring November Fools Day to the world is working!

  • Heh. My plan to bring November Fools Day to the world is working!

  • There are lies that we live by. There are lies that we play we with. There are lies we thrust on our enemies and acquaintances. There are lies for government and lies for citizens, lies for the media and cops. There are lies for our children, parents, and siblings; lies for our neighbors and friends; lies for the waiters, cooks, and servicers; lies in our means and our ends. There are lies for the public and each race within, but most importantly, there are lies for every occassion.

  • Oh, sound makes it better, but it’s just a small part of the funny.

  • There are lies that we live by. There are lies that we play we with. There are lies we thrust on our enemies and acquaintances. There are lies for government and lies for citizens, lies for the media and cops. There are lies for our children, parents, and siblings; lies for our neighbors and friends; lies for the waiters, cooks, and servicers; lies in our means and our ends. There are lies for the public and each race within, but most importantly, there are lies for every occassion.

  • Oh, sound makes it better, but it’s just a small part of the funny.

  • And it seemed like something that would legitimately happen to you . . .I was like, “oh yeah, Ben; pot brownies . . .makes sense.”

    I already always get duped on april fools, the last thing I need is to make the holiday biannual. (biennial?)

  • And it seemed like something that would legitimately happen to you . . .I was like, “oh yeah, Ben; pot brownies . . .makes sense.”

    I already always get duped on april fools, the last thing I need is to make the holiday biannual. (biennial?)

  • Biannual is right, I think. I always forget April Fools day, so consider November Fools day a make-up holiday.

  • Biannual is right, I think. I always forget April Fools day, so consider November Fools day a make-up holiday.