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Worldwide Ace » The Irony of it All

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The Irony of it All

20 April, 2005 (23:39) | Politics

Hello, Hello. My name’s Terry and I’m a law abider. There’s nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer, and when the weekends here I to exercise my right to get paralytic and fight. Good bloke fairly, but I get well leery when geezers look at me funny. Bounce ’em round like bunnies. I’m likely to cause mischief. Good clean grief you must believe and I ain’t no thief. Law abiding and all, all legal. And who cares about my liver when it feels good What you need is some real manhood. Rasher Rasher Barney and Kasha putting peoples backs up. Public disorder, I’ll give you public disorder. I down eight pints and run all over the place; spit in the face of an officer. See if that bothers you cause I never broke a law in my life. Someday I’m gonna settle down with a wife. Come on lads lets have another fight.

Eh hello. My names Tim and I’m a criminal. In the eyes of society I need to be in jail for the choice of herbs I inhale. This ain’t no wholesale operation, just a few eighths and some Playstation’s my vocation. I pose a threat to the nation, and down the station, the police hold no patience. Let’s talk space and time. I like to get deep sometimes and think about Einstein, and Carl Jung and old Kung Fu movies I like to see. Pass the hydrator please. Yeah I’m floating on thin air. Going to Amsterdam in the New Year – top gear there, cause I take pride in my hobby; home made bongs using my engineering degree. Dear Leaders, please legalise weed for these reasons.

Like I was saying to him. I told him: “Top with me and you won’t leave.” So I smacked him in the head and downed another Carling, bada bada bing for the lad’s night. Mad fight, his face’s a sad sight. Vodka and Snake Bite. Going on like a right—geez, he’s a twat! Shouldn’t have looked at me like that. Anyway I’m an upstanding citizen. If a war came along I’d be on the front line with em. Can’t stand crime either them hooligans on heroin. Drugs and criminals those thugs on the penny coloured will be the downfall of society. I’ve got all the anger pent up inside of me.

You know I don’t see why I should be the criminal. How can something with no recorded fatalities be illegal? And how many deaths are there per year from alcohol? I just completed Gran Tourismo on the hardest setting. We pose no threat on my city. Ooh the pizza’s here will someone let him in please. We didn’t order chicken. Not a problem we’ll pick it out. I doubt they meant to mess us about. After all we’re all adults not louts. As I was saying, we’re friendly peaceful people. We’re not the ones out there causing trouble. We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters, discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is. MTV, BBC 2, Channel 4 is on until six in the morning. Then at six in the morning the sun dawns and it’s my bedtime.

Causing trouble, your stinking rabble. Boys saying I’m the lad who’s spoiling it. You’re on drugs. It really bugs me when people try and tell me I’m a thug just for getting drunk. I like getting drunk. Cause I’m an upstanding citizen. If a war came along I’d be on the front line with em.

Now Terry, you’re repeating yourself. But that’s okay, drunk people can’t help that. A chemical reaction inside your brain causes you to forget what you’re saying.

What!? I know exactly what I’m saying! I’m perfectly sane! You stinking student lame-o! Go get a job and stop robbing us of our taxes!

Err, well actually according to research, government funding for further education pales in insignificance when compared to how much they spend on repairing leery drunk people at the weekend in casualty wards all over the land.

Why you cheeky little swine! Come here! I’m gonna batter you! Come here!

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  • did i mention that i’m sometimes attracted to football hooligans as well?

    you’re definitely preying on my anglophilia.

  • did i mention that i’m sometimes attracted to football hooligans as well?

    you’re definitely preying on my anglophilia.

  • Umm, that was actually the lyrics to the Streets – The Irony of it All, which is a poignant pro-marijuana song in honor of 4/20.

  • Umm, that was actually the lyrics to the Streets – The Irony of it All, which is a poignant pro-marijuana song in honor of 4/20.

  • duh.

    but you’re making this easily accesible to me. thank god, i’m in a computer lab without any headphones so i can’t stream any of their albums…

  • duh.

    but you’re making this easily accesible to me. thank god, i’m in a computer lab without any headphones so i can’t stream any of their albums…

  • Ooh… Well isn’t my face red.

    Actually, I think it’s just puffy from sleep deprivation.

  • Ooh… Well isn’t my face red.

    Actually, I think it’s just puffy from sleep deprivation.

  • or too much booze.

    and hookers.
    and hookers made of booze.

  • or too much booze.

    and hookers.
    and hookers made of booze.

  • They’re not much for conversation.

    Hookers made of booze, that is.

  • They’re not much for conversation.

    Hookers made of booze, that is.

  • so i need a new layout. and i’m electing you.

  • so i need a new layout. and i’m electing you.

  • But I absolutely adore your layout as is?!?!?

  • But I absolutely adore your layout as is?!?!?

  • I love that song! 🙂

  • I love that song! 🙂

  • Yeah, it kicks ass.

    We need to get toegther when I’m home in May.

  • Yeah, it kicks ass.

    We need to get toegther when I’m home in May.

  • It’s always so weird to me that people listen to The Streets here. When I was living in London, A Grand Don’t Come for Free had just come out, so they were HUGE. Hearing them (or the lyrics) here just seems out of context.

    But, yeah, it’s an awesome song.

  • It’s always so weird to me that people listen to The Streets here. When I was living in London, A Grand Don’t Come for Free had just come out, so they were HUGE. Hearing them (or the lyrics) here just seems out of context.

    But, yeah, it’s an awesome song.

  • I like foreign music. And 1190 is a good outlet for it.

    And yes, I love that song.

  • I like foreign music. And 1190 is a good outlet for it.

    And yes, I love that song.

  • I have the unique perspective of someone who was once a huge stoner and also a raging alcoholic (different times). Now I don’t do either, and I think I’m better off without alcohol and pot.

    But the worst effects of my pot days were that I got pretty lazy, and spent all my money on food, cooking for my stoner friends. Oh, and there were some kitchen-relating cooking injuries when I was high & baking naked. But only a few.

    The alcoholism pretty much destroyed my life, and I caused lots of pain for other people. And physically, it’s very punishing. And I hurt myself all the time. I woke up once with a concussion. I still have a bump on my head two years later. I have no clue, to this day, what happened. D’oh!

    I mean, you already knew that pot is relatively harmless, but I thought I’d add my vote in seeing as how I have personal experience. Personally, I hope they don’t legalize weed for my own selfish reasons, but I still think alcohol is potentially more dangerous.

  • I have the unique perspective of someone who was once a huge stoner and also a raging alcoholic (different times). Now I don’t do either, and I think I’m better off without alcohol and pot.

    But the worst effects of my pot days were that I got pretty lazy, and spent all my money on food, cooking for my stoner friends. Oh, and there were some kitchen-relating cooking injuries when I was high & baking naked. But only a few.

    The alcoholism pretty much destroyed my life, and I caused lots of pain for other people. And physically, it’s very punishing. And I hurt myself all the time. I woke up once with a concussion. I still have a bump on my head two years later. I have no clue, to this day, what happened. D’oh!

    I mean, you already knew that pot is relatively harmless, but I thought I’d add my vote in seeing as how I have personal experience. Personally, I hope they don’t legalize weed for my own selfish reasons, but I still think alcohol is potentially more dangerous.

  • I agree completely. Growing up, I had to deal with my mom’s alcoholism, so psychologically, I’ve got this built in measure of when to stop drinking. Even so, I don’t drink much at all, though I do socially.

    With pot, a few years ago, I spent about a two week stretch stoned day and night. It wasn’t a bad experience, but after I sobered up, I decided it wasn’t a good experience either. Now, I don’t really smoke either, especially when I have something to do in the next 24 hours (class, work, chores).

    Regardless, I don’t really want to see weed legalized, but I do want to see it decriminalized. It would stop the mindless persecution and waste of our tax dollars, as well as cutting down on the prison population.

  • I agree completely. Growing up, I had to deal with my mom’s alcoholism, so psychologically, I’ve got this built in measure of when to stop drinking. Even so, I don’t drink much at all, though I do socially.

    With pot, a few years ago, I spent about a two week stretch stoned day and night. It wasn’t a bad experience, but after I sobered up, I decided it wasn’t a good experience either. Now, I don’t really smoke either, especially when I have something to do in the next 24 hours (class, work, chores).

    Regardless, I don’t really want to see weed legalized, but I do want to see it decriminalized. It would stop the mindless persecution and waste of our tax dollars, as well as cutting down on the prison population.