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Worldwide Ace » Would You Shoot a Buddha?

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Would You Shoot a Buddha?

18 June, 2004 (23:01) | Random

Zak: hey ben
Zak: i wanted to ask you something
Zak: if you could shoot a Buddha
Zak: i mean, if you were walking around
Zak: and you happened to have your trusty 9mm faithfully at your side
Zak: and you saw a Buddha
Zak: would you shoot him?
Zak: that’s like a once in a lifetime opportunity we’re talkin here
Zak: have you ever met anyone who’s able to honestly say that they’ve shot a Buddha?
Zak: cuz i know i haven’t
Zak: anyway, you think about that one
Zak: and you get back to me
Ben: A real live Buddha? cause there was only one
Ben: kind of like Ghandi
Ben: and no, I couldn’t shoot a real live Buddha
Zak: not true. there’s just only been one that we know of
Ben: hell, he shares so many of my auxiliary traits
Zak: ….?
Ben: right, and according to him, there would’ve been more of him thanks to reincarnation… fair enough
Ben: well, we have the big jovial belly
Ben: and I can’t imagine myself killing something
Ben: I could shoot a statue or something like that, but not a living Buddha
Zak: no, ben, don’t you know anything about Buddhism?
Zak: the whole point of becoming a Buddha is that you’ve escaped the cycle of reincarnation and cease to exist
Ben: I know about the tenets, and a little about the story, but not a ton
Ben: then no, I wouldn’t shoot a Buddha
Ben: even if he could meet Kirk Cobain
Zak: well, i remember reading something where he’s talking to one of his buddies
Zak: and he mentions the Buddhas of the past and the Buddhas of the future
Zak: implying that he’s not the only dude in existence who has the ability to achieve nirvana
Ben: well of course not
Ben: that would be elitist bastardism if he said only he could reach Nirvana
Zak: yeah
Zak: but ben
Zak: to shooda Buddha
Zak: i mean…
Zak: damn
Zak: you know?
Ben: well, if he said it was ok, maybe
Ben: but I’d need it in writing
Zak: what if he was just a serious asshole and really deserved it
Zak: like what if he killed your whole family and all your loved ones too?
Ben: if he was serious asshole, he wouldn’t be a Buddha
Zak: hey, who says Buddhas don’t go bad?
Ben: the tenets state that nirvana can only be reached once you’ve become one with the universe, and being one includes empathizing, completely ruining the chance of acting bad, even if they are
Zak: well, what if he became one with the universe and all, and then he was like, man, this universe sucks fucking balls. fuck this, man
Ben: he couldn’t do that without self-loathing
Ben: doesn’t work
Zak: ok, so he has some self-loathing, big deal
Zak: …ben, you’re not working with me here
Zak: i don’t care about how or why he became an asshole
Zak: that’s not what’s important
Ben: sure it is
Ben: cause he’s not a Buddha if he’s evil
Zak: not to me, and i’m the one asking the questions
Ben: that’s a great band name: “Evil Buddha”
Zak: hahaha
Zak: nice
Zak: anyway…
Zak: all i want to know is…
Ben: I’d shoot the pope, but not Buddha
Zak: if an evil Buddha killed your family and all your loved ones, would you shoot him
Zak: ?
Zak: well, shit, i’d shoot the pope
Ben: in self-defense?
Zak: sure
Ben: sure
Zak: …
Zak: you’d shoot a Buddha?
Zak: man, that’s fucked up, ben
Zak: fuckin sicko

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  • wow is that sacreligious 🙂

  • wow is that sacreligious 🙂

  • That was hilarious. I was cracking up reading that.
    Best line ever: Zak: hey, who says Buddhas don’t go bad?

    That Flying Car video was awesome. Randall is so great because when he makes a point, he drives it into the ground and sounds so certain of himself no matter how ridiculous a point. Every time I try to do that someone makes me start laughing first so I can never finish it.

  • That was hilarious. I was cracking up reading that.
    Best line ever: Zak: hey, who says Buddhas don’t go bad?

    That Flying Car video was awesome. Randall is so great because when he makes a point, he drives it into the ground and sounds so certain of himself no matter how ridiculous a point. Every time I try to do that someone makes me start laughing first so I can never finish it.