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Worldwide Ace » Illegal Alien Invasion

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Illegal Alien Invasion

28 January, 2004 (12:42) | Dreams

Yesterday, I came home in the afternoon and was so tired I took a nap. During this 3 hour nap, I had a very odd dream about a cartoon in which I starred. The following is the true story of that dream:

My friend Zak, drummer of my crappy high school band Nutria decided that he wanted to draw a cartoon, and, similar in style to Clerks: The Animated Series, it starred our group of friends from high school: Max, Zak, Boyce, Dan and myself. The odd thing was that I wasn’t voicing me; I was voicing Max. And, quite frankly, I was doing a terrible job of it.

Max is a cynical and sarcastic straight man, much like Brian from Family Guy, but I was making far goofier and more morbid than he should’ve been. Still, that didn’t bother me near as much as me being portrayed as a Kramer-like character.

The show opened on a misty dock with Max and myself climbing over a fence and sneaking towards a big boat we planned to steal. Max carried two cans of soda, one green and the other red. Deftly, we avoid all detection, making it onto the deck of the boat.

MAX: carefully sets one can of soda on the railing. Come on, let’s get this thing out of here.

BEN: But what about the aliens!?!?

MAX: There are no aliens, what are you talking about???

BEN: The aliens trying to invade America!

MAX: Let’s just find the bridge.

The camera cuts to a dark room lit only by a couple of candles. The room is full of poncho and sombrero wearing Mexicans speaking in soft tones.

MEXICAN 1: Bien, primero obtenemos los trabajos en el alimento y restaurantes rápidos. Entonces tomamos los servicios de portero. Entonces mandamos toda nuestra espalda de moneda de USA a México. [SUBTITLE: Alright, first we get jobs in fast food and restaurants. Then we take over janitorial services. Then we send all of our US currency back to Mexico.]

MEXICAN 2: Pero eso no nos traerá dominación de mundo… [SUBTITLE: But that won’t bring us world domination…]

MEXICAN 1: La paciencia, mi amigo. Primero los trabajos serviles de clase obrera del proletariado, entonces el bourgoise estadistas superiores de clase del mundo! HAHAHA! [SUBTITLE: Patience, my friend. First the menial working class jobs of the proletariat, then the bourgeoisie upper class statesmen of the world!]

MEXICAN 3: Shhh! Pienso que oigo algo… [SUBTITLE: Shhh! I think I hear something…]

Camera cuts to the door handle as it wiggles and the door swings open. Standing in the doorway are Ben and Max

BEN: SEE! I told you there were aliens plotting an invasion!

MEXICAN 2: Err, no hablo Inglés?

MAX: looks flustered and says before quickly slamming the door: Umm, sorry, wrong room…

Camera cuts back out side where Ben and Max continue searching for the bridge.

GUARD 1: from above Ben and Max hear someone talking. Hey, did you just hear a door slam?

GUARD 2: It’s probably just the wind.

BEN: Phew, for a minute there I thought they heard us.

GUARD 2: But that was definitely talking…

BEN: NO! It’s still just the wind!

MAX: Oh yeah, cause the wind introduces itself all the time.

As they run back to the gangplank, security in tow, Ben knocks Max’s can of soda off the edge.

MAX: Dammit! I wanted to drink that.

BEN: No worries! I got it! He dives off the edge into the water.

MAX: Idiot.

Max runs off the boat as the camera zooms out.
I’d like to say the rest of episode was just as interesting, but I don’t remember anything except for some catering, a gymnastics tournament, a weird M.C. Escher style, and the ending credits, which I didn’t read, but I remember them showing Ben (me) winning the silver medal in the special olympics 60 meter roll. I mean, jesus, I would’ve at least won gold…



  • you crAYZy foo. lay off teh shrooms.

    and PS, this inspired me to listen to the cd of Nutria that i found a few weeks ago. mah ha.

  • you crAYZy foo. lay off teh shrooms.

    and PS, this inspired me to listen to the cd of Nutria that i found a few weeks ago. mah ha.