Worldwide Ace

Well, based on Sarah’s thread, I decided to do a little creative editing and turn Ben Fold’s Five’s “Song for the Dumped” into a Brilliant diatribe by Peter Pan. Of course, since I hadn’t read Peter Pan since 5th grade, I needed to brush up on my Peter Panology, so I struck out on Google to find a little more about him. Unfortunately, instead of finding a page on Peter Pan, I found this hilarious page…

Well, here are the original lyrics:

So you wanted
to take a break
Slow it down some and
have some space

Well fuck you too
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
you bitch
I want my money back
and don’t forget
and don’t forget
to give me back my black T-Shirt

Wish I hadn’t
bought you dinner
Right before you
dumped me
on your front porch
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
and don’t forget
and don’t forget
to give me back my black T-Shirt

Hey Hey

So you wanted
to take a break
Slow it down some and
have some space

Well fuck you too
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
you bitch
I want my money back
And don’t forget.

And here’s my Peter Pan version of the “Song for the Dumped:”

Wendy, you said,
“Just grow up Pete.
You’re too old now,
To live like this.

Well fuck you too
Pirates and Scallywags
Give me my marbles back
you bitch
I want my marbles back
and don’t forget
and don’t forget
to give me back my Pixie Dust

Wish I hadn’t
imagined you food
with the lost boys
and saved you
from Captain Hook
Pirates and Scallywags
Give me my marbles back
You bitch
I want my marbles back
and don’t forget
and don’t forget
to give me back my Pixie Dust

Hey Hey

Wendy, you said,
“Just grow up Pete.
You’re too old now,
To live like this.

Pirates and Scallywags
Give me my marbles back
you bitch
I want my marbles back
I want my marbles back
And don’t forget.