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Worldwide Ace » The Symptoms

Worldwide Ace

Because a true Ace is needed everywhere…

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The Symptoms

14 September, 2003 (12:08) | Random

It starts at the top. As soon as I sit up my head sways the world twists like windmill through the eyes of Hunter S Thompson or Don Quixote. I reach up to run my hand through my hair and shiver run across the top of my scalp at the nearest touch. Even when I’m not touching, I can feel my hair sitting there.

My forehead is much the same, being there and yet not. It’s cold to the touch, but warm. Sometimes it throbs slowly, but most of the time it just sits there heavily, threatening to tip me over. Every time I touch my eyes, I can feel the pressure spread across my face like a slowly erupting volcano. It’s not pain, but heat.

My nose is odd. If I lie down, one nostril will become stuffed, whichever my head lies towards. My throat is so sensitive that I can feel the snot rolling down out of my nose, but if I try to prevent it, it’s like running sandpaper over the roof of my mouth. My glasses feel like they’re leaving lunar mares on my nose. This, however, I can ignore.

So until this morning, I kept my mouth and lips moist, but now they’re dry and cracked like the Parthenon. I would fall asleep and wake up every 20 minutes wanting a drink, but unable to get up; to move my aching body; to indulge my wasteland of a mouth. But my lips and tongue are the least of my problems.

My ears and jaw are what truly bother me. The pressure in my ears is off, throbbing and ringing and making me have auditory hallucinations. I hear water running when there is none; I hear buzzing and banshee cries; I hear drums of native tribes and slow rumblings of earthquakes I can’t feel. And there, below my ears, where my jaw meets my skull, I feel needles shoved in, squeezing anesthetics and muscle relaxants that leave my jaw throbbing and my mouth hanging open like a far too gone hippie.

Beneath my jaw as the lumps, or lymph nodes as the doctors like to call them. Normally, you can’t seem them in a person’s throat, but mine stick out like two hick-borne Adam’s apples from just beneath my jaw line. I can run my hands over them and feel them bounce and gyrate unnaturally like a succubus belly dancer.

But inside my throat is worse. If you’ve ever inhaled dirty smoke as you ran out of a burning building, you might be close to understanding the burning in my throat. My esophagus is rough like the hands of a farmer from the dust bowl. Hell, I should’ve hired Steinbeck to the description. Every swallow, every deep breath, and every cough is like a having my throat dragged along a road behind a Mack truck through the desert.

My stomach is the only lucky part of my body. It’s sat nicely along side my pain and let me be… until this morning. I awoke at 5:30, slightly fevered and thirsty, so I stumbled dizzily upstairs to find the Tylenol. After popping two pills as per the recommended dose, I downed 1/3 of a glass of water. 10 minutes later, my stomach was trying to excise the demons. For 2 hours, I sat, sipping a little water, waiting fifteen minutes, and then making an offering to the porcelain gods. I could not take an anti-biotic for fear of wasting it, and I could not take more Tylenol since I would’ve exceeded the dose and I didn’t know if I had absorbed it or not. Finally, I made and offering and then slept for an hour on the couch. When I awoke, the pain was unbearable, but I could drink again without returning it to the water supply so shortly after.

See, that’s bad, but it could be worse, for the main symptom of Strep type A that people have to watch for is the deterioration of heart tissue. By the time Strep has hit your stomach, you have between 3 and 48 hours to get on medication or the bacteria begin eating at your heart until it begins to leak, slowly bleeding you to death internally. And after you’ve collapsed from lack of oxygen to the brain, they continue to rip your heart to shreds until it stops pumping and you die.

But I’ve been on meds since Friday, so unless my 9th grade paper on the uselessness of antibiotics thanks to bacteria’s ability to evolve is proven true through me, I should be fine.

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