I, by all accounts, am a slacker. I was a slacker in elementary school, never doing my homework, but helping my friends do theirs. I was a slacker at boarding school, doing just enough so that I could avoid trouble and even gain some privileges reserved for the “good” students. I was a slacker in early high school, spending all my time wrapped up in my fantasies, like dates with college girls, video games, and sports.
The problem with being a slacker is that, eventually, you stop being one. My senior year of high school, despite skipping too many classes for stupid reasons, was a breakout year for me. Suddenly, if I could do well, I would. Now, contrary to the idea that people never change, I consider myself one of the most hardworking people I know. The problem is I can’t over-achieve forever. No matter the job or task, it is a roller coaster with its ups and downs. If I over-achieve in the beginning to prove that I can, I end up with a disillusioned management and only the slope down ahead of me. If I over-achieve later, it may be too late to change opinions already formed.
This last week, I’ve been sick. I have some sort of infection of the lungs that makes it hard to breath and gives me a terrible cough. I still went to work when I could because there are only 3 people total working my position. Because I worked sick, I made a mistake, and didn’t mark a chart or two I was supposed to, and because of that, I was fired.
The strange thing is, I don’t feel upset. On the one hand, I’ve never been fired before, I worked hard, and I felt I did more than what was required of me. On the other hand, economic reasons, as well as my lapse into an uncharacteristic failure of duty, both make it easy to see how and why I was canned. On top of this, I may have asked for this reprieve subconsciously.
Am I sad I was forced to leave in this manner? Yes. Am I angry about it? Maybe, but I don’t feel like it. Did I care about my job? Very much, so much so that it has cost me a valued friend whom I can never reclaim. It makes life hard, but I will persevere. I don’t have another option.