Warning: Parameter 1 to wp_default_styles() expected to be a reference, value given in /homepages/16/d202020116/htdocs/worldwide/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 601

Warning: Parameter 1 to wp_default_scripts() expected to be a reference, value given in /homepages/16/d202020116/htdocs/worldwide/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 601
Worldwide Ace » The Art of Nonchalance

Worldwide Ace

Because a true Ace is needed everywhere…

Entries Comments


The Art of Nonchalance

7 May, 2008 (14:53) | Social Commentary

“Do you care what she thinks?” I asked him. All night, Nick had been wandering around the bar, making sure to pass this girl and not look at her.

“Of course I do,” he told me, the annoyance clear on his face. “I want her to like me; to think I’m cool. I mean, look at her. She’s hot. You think she’d be with me if she knew how lame I am?”

“But why does acting like you don’t care do that?”

“I don’t know. It just does, ok. Being nonchalant is cool.”


Perhaps I should blame the Fonz. When Arthur Fonzarelli held out his hands and snapped his fingers, he didn’t expect a woman to show up for each arm (and sometimes a few more on top of that), it just happened. He was cool beyond cool thanks to his utter nonchalance.

The art of nonchalance is so pervasive an idea that there are books and websites helping you become more mysterious. How To Be An Enigma explains that “being mysterious is something alluring to many people.” Well, sure it is, but to what extent?

Most people like challenges. They give me a sense of accomplishment when I succeed. And when I’m interested in someone, I want to know everything about them. But there comes a point where nonchalance is simply not really who I am.

I’m admittedly nonchalant about a lot of things. I don’t really care what I eat as long as it tastes ok and keeps me alive. I don’t really care what kind of car (or in my case bike) I drive as long as it works well and gets me where I’m going. I don’t care how much I get paid as long as it’s enough to live off of and I enjoy my job. And I’m not the only one aloof about the little things.

Charlese Theron is nonchalant about appearance. Ward Churchill is nonchalant about whether you think he’s a Native American. And, of course, George Bush is nonchalant about black people according to Kanye West.

No matter what the current trend in nonchalance is, however, when it comes to things that are important to me, I care, and I’m loathe to give that up.

I still hear people discuss courting someone and showing them you care, but in the early stages of a relationship, it’s all about nonchalance. I’m not supposed to call that night or even the next day. I’m supposed to disappear off the face of the map and wait two or three days at the very least. I’m supposed to walk around as if having her there is her privilege, not mine. It’s complete and utter bullshit.

If I like you, I want you to know that. It doesn’t matter if you’re a friend, a relative, a random acquaintance or a significant other. I want you to realize that I find you interesting and enjoyable. I want you to know that I want to spend time with you. And, perhaps most of all, I want you to know you’ve made an impact on me, however small.

Nonchalance is supposed to be perfect indifference. Instead, it’s merely a facade. There are plenty of times that I’m scared to tell someone I care about them, but do I really want to purport myself falsely? Do I want to form a relationship with someone based on this false front? Hardly.

Perhaps it’s not in my best interest to be so forthcoming. Perhaps I should be nonchalant and cool. But how disappointed would you be if you spent weeks hanging out with my nonchalance only to find out it was just another mask? I’d rather be honest and admit that I still sometimes sleep with my teddy bears than try and be something I’m not.

If you ever actually watched Happy Days, Fonzie always had a positive message: be yourself; don’t sweat the small stuff; everyone’s cool, they just have to believe. Ultimately, the things we should remember about the Fonz is that in the end what matters is who you really are, nonchalant or not.

Besides, if you don’t love my teddy bears, you’re not welcome here.

«

  »

  • Dang mans and I read all of this straight through to the end, my friend! It be the idealism homies, we all think thus-uss-ness. When you dig people, I mean, get involved with people all deep and dirty none of this idealism holds and that’s why we’re all nuts.

    Otherwise it wouldn’t be an issue for anybody.

    Look at me being all preachy and having opinions. F this, I’m going to call up Denise-sauce for some birthday chats!

  • Dang mans and I read all of this straight through to the end, my friend! It be the idealism homies, we all think thus-uss-ness. When you dig people, I mean, get involved with people all deep and dirty none of this idealism holds and that’s why we’re all nuts.

    Otherwise it wouldn’t be an issue for anybody.

    Look at me being all preachy and having opinions. F this, I’m going to call up Denise-sauce for some birthday chats!